*Veninde

Of the sillyness shared between me and my 11 year old brother.


Dear Toilet,


Thanks for swallowing my dumps. You really help me out with my shit. And so, I'm writing you this letter to express my appreciation. I hope we will be able to continue our give and take negotiations in the future. I'll be sure to stop by soon to confirm our agreement.

Yours truly,

Ass


P.s. Should you suffer from clogging in the future, please contact my mother for further assistance.

If love were a substance, what would it be like?

I'm bored. So here's some colour.

This weird habit of saying "you're welcome" before someone said thank you.

It's a problem.

Another problem is that I don't speak fluent Danish yet.

I also can't drink coffee I didn't make myself. Making me coffee would require great skill on putting the right amount (loads) of milk and sugar, which only I possess.
Same goes for tea with milk and sugar and peanutbutter sandwiches. (I don't put milk and sugar on peanutbutter sandwiches, I mix peanutbutter with butter til it's perfectly buttery balanced. )

I don't like gold either, it looks cheap.

Yes, I do often realize how spoiled I am. I would give money to charity if they were to be trusted with my money. And most of them are not.

I just saw a train pass by my office with the following graffiti on it:
Beef?
Nigga done overcooked it.

Wise lesson for all y'all.

When I don't move for a while, the lights go off. So to turn them back on I wave my arms around. This happens every 10 minutes or so because it's just me and a couple of petrified fossils working here.
So when my parents had some friends over I was sitting on the couch just talking about what those damn grown ups always talk about when i'm around: "How's work, do you make enough money? how's your lovelife, find true love yet? Saw the soccer game yesterday?".. I noticed the room getting darker. Not realizing it was just the sun hiding behind the clouds, I just shamelessly waved my arms around to turn the lights back on. ^,^